[Danial Beard]

I guess it’s all part of a habitual spring cleaning thing. It may also just be something old farts who can’t afford to always buy new stuff do. We had a name for it back then, it was called regular preventative maintenance. It’s not a terribly popular activity these days because it requires a little quality time with an assortment of hand tools, a few rags and an oil can — and maybe even a small tub of lithium grease. It’s also becoming a lost art due to the fact a lot of stuff these days is built in such a fashion that actual maintenance is impossible. “Maintenance free,” is splattered all over the packaging as if it were some sort of a virtue. It is sold as a feature! Colour me skeptical. In my experience, with the demonstrable exception of some sealed AGM batteries, maintenance free and long lived are generally mutually exclusive.

As a result, I realized while I was working my way through several appliances, that a number of them are just as old, if not considerably older than I am. These are not collector’s items that sit in a display case collecting dust. They are appliances and objects that get used routinely. The manufacturing date on some of them go back into the 1940s. From that era I have a bench grinder which my grandfather bought when he was a young man. It actually has spring loaded caps on all the bearings so you can add oil periodically. The bearings have never been replaced, but they do get regularly oiled. Methinks the two are related. I did have to replace the power cord about five years ago. All things considered, I’ll forgive it.

In the kitchen, from the early 50s, we have a Dormey 7500 hand mixer, a GE Waffle iron, a Cory Model DKS knife sharpener, and a hand crank meat grinder. All still function — better than their modern counterparts. They do, however, lack multi-color LEDs and digital displays. There isn’t an electronic control chip in the lot of ’em. In the craft room, my mother’s 1950s vintage Singer Featherweight is still doing exactly what it was designed to do. In the window there is a box fan purchased in the early 60s. It’s over 60 years old and still running fine. But you can easily get to the bearings on it to apply oil as well. I have had to create a new handle for it. The old one succumbed to rough handling during a move somewhere along the way. There’s a nice piece of 80+ year old bois d’arc on it now. Both will easily outlive me.

In the bathroom there’s a Manning Bowman Model 32522 space heater. I will admit I changed out the legs on that a decade ago. The originals were getting a little rust fatigued. At the time, while I had it on the bench, I swapped out the power cord. The original was getting a little stiff and crunchy. I don’t know when that was manufactured, but the general build quality seems to place it in the 50s or early 60s. It still works fine. A drop or two of oil on the fan motor bearings, and it’s good to go for another year. Due to it’s durability, it’s the go-to choice for putting under the house when those silly “Polar Vortex” cold bombs come to visit.

Sitting on the shelf by the sink is a Norelco Triple header shaver that was a gift from my grandmother when I entered my teens. It is neither battery powered nor sealed and glued together. It has a 110v plug-in cord, and screws so it can be taken apart and cleaned and lubricated. It takes it a second or two to spin up to full speed now, but once there, I think you could mow grass with it. Power is not a problem.

I’m sure there are other similar items around here. Those are just the ones I’ve had my hands on in the last few weeks. They are not, “outdated relics” or “nasty old things,” they are still functional and quite serviceable, and the truth of the matter is, you would be hard pressed to match them for function and durability with anything of modern construction. And, yeah, this may sound like an old geezer’s lament, but the reality of the matter is, I really wouldn’t have it any other way.

From the Grey Haired Squad here at The Paper Radio, if’n it ain’t broke, just wipe it down, grease the moving parts and use it. It may be an antique … but eventually, we are too.

-30-

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